this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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