hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
