worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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