he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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