Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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