Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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