I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
