Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
