She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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