it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize