You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
3 2 1 whiskey
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
