I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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