i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
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Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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