Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
