he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize