dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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