Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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