would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus