I'm going to jail i love you
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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