i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
