just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
