she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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