I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
