so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
