A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
its liver damage thursday
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