I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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