If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
