going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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