so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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