thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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