Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
