In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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