I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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