think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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