He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
