is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize