It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
