I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
