dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
