the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
