I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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