if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
