And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize