Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
