Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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