This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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