You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
