I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
