That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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