I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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