I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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