you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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