...so i touched it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
