I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
