ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
